So I hear you have been through hard times.
That means you are a survivor and that your tough. I like that.
Hard times teach us acceptance.
Martial arts training teaches us that when we are in a bad spot, to accept it. "I'm in the headlock and I'm ok with it." This doesn't mean you are going to stay in the headlock and it doesn't mean that you are going to lose. It means you are of rational mind. You stay calm because you will begin to move in the direction you choose.
Acceptance, removes fear and panic.
Acceptance can heal mourning and heart ache.